The Solution to Resolutions

today is the day before the day, before the new year... wait, what?
today is the day before new years eve!
what is the 1st thing that pops into my head when someone says new years? RESOLUTIONS!
New year resolutions are great things, they bring some new spunk to the up coming year right? they  rekindle the Hope to make a difference in your life. its possible!
i have my list of resolutions as most people do;

Train for a half marathon in idaho
read from the scriptures everyday
read a talk or message from a general authority every sunday
when i think negative about someone, think of two positive things about them (including myself)
spend more time at the gym (guilty)
cut back off the dr. pepper (this will be the hardest one of them all!)

If I can do everything on that list, my life will definatley take a turn for the better.

now, I'm not perfect. unfortunately. so I know that I won't always be running, reading, studying, thinking positive, working out, or drinking water instead of dr. pepper! kind of a bummer. what happens then?..i've messed up. i'm not going to ever achieve that goal. WRONG!

wise words from Michael Jordan, "If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."

the best thing about a new year, is that there are 365 new beginnings. yeah, you messed up on your resolution. so? strive for a better tomorrow! the solution to our failed resolutions is taking advantage of the small new beginnings everyday. recommit every night to what you know will create a life you long after. never get discouraged on your progress.

every night after my nightly routine, i just lay in my bed with the light on. i think on the day which has now past...what was good, and what was bad. Then I think about what I'll continue to do good, and what I can strive to do better. I turn off the light and say aloud,

"here's to a better tomorrow"

spreading holiday cheer

Christmas

it's a wonderful time of the year. full of giving, good tidings and cheer. it's a season of joy, peace, and love. it's a holiday to celebrate our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

I love Christmas! it's my favorite holiday. but for some reason...I hadn't been getting into the christmas spirit this year like i would have hoped. I had everything crossed off my list. greeting cards, check. presents, check. updated budget...eh, not quite. I was set for christmas. But it did not feel like christmas was a week away. what's up with that? I started wondering why christmas wasn't feeling all that great.

I had a relief society christmas lunch with my ward today. the bishops wife spoke, and asked us to remember a christmas that you remember, and what made it so great...
 Christmas 2005, my family and I traveled up to idaho to spend the holiday with my grandparents. I remember getting a koala bear beanie baby from my grandma Jensen. I loved that beanie baby. I remember this christmas and that beanie baby distinctly because it was the last christmas i ever had with my grandma. she past away two months later.
Christmas 2010, my family and I traveled up once again to idaho. this time however, we traveled up to our family cabin. we snow shoed into the cabins with all our gear. my dad had a christmas tree lit and it was nice to have family around. the best part about that chirstmas, was walking over to our cabin neighbor maraline who lives up there year round, with some treats and to sing some carols. that was the first time she has had carolers in decades.
the bishops wife made an excellent analogy. "its not the places or the gifts that makes the holiday special, but the people."

i remember christmas '05 because it was the last christmas i enjoyed with my grandma jensen.
christmas '10 was important to me because my family and i brought joy to our friend and neighbor who was alone on christmas.

what you do for others, and what you do with your loved ones make the holiday bright.

I am grateful for that lesson from the bishops wife. it really set the tone for me, and got me in the right mind set for christmas. I hope and pray everyone spreads holiday cheer, whether be by word or by action. no one should be left giftless this christmas season. its all about giving of ones self to make another's life seem a bit brighter. i am thankful for jesus christ, and this holiday to celebrate his birth. he is the ultimate symbol of hope. which everyone should feel a bit hopeful this time of year.

if you are having a hard time feeling the holiday cheer, try giving something away to someone. let me know if you feel the holiday cheer after you have spread it around a bit.

merry christmas everybody!

In Every step, In Every Change

Do not be discourgaged if life isn't all you want it to be right now. Don't fret if your plans A, and B have fallen through. don't feel alone, because no one has recognized you today.
have faith, god knows best for you. everything is in the lord's time. so don't be discouraged if life isn't all what it's cracked up to be right now. because heavenly father has great things waiting for you ahead. Don't fret if your plans A and B have failed. because heavenly father's plan C is much better than your plan A or B. And don't feel alone, because heavenly father never leaves your side.
the lord is with us in every step, and every change
I don't know anything that explains it better than the lyrics of the hymn, "be still my soul".

verse 1:
"Be still; my soul, the lord is on thy side
bear patiently the cross of grief and pain;
leave to your god to order and provide.
in every change god faithful will remain
be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
through throny ways lead to a joyful end."

heavenly father will help us through whatever comes our way. in every step, in every change, he'll never leave our side.

what's life without...

What's life without some hard times? without hard times, i wouldn't know the easy ones when they came along. what's life with out some failure? without failure i wouldn't recognize my successes. what is life without some pain? without pain i wouldn't understand relief.

yesterday was thanksgiving, a time to reflect on what you are most grateful for. I had a hard time deciding on what I wanted to highlight this year, because i am a very grateful person for all i have. for the past couple weeks i've been hearing, and reading what my friends and family are thankful for. i have to say that all the people around in my life are truely amazing people. some were thankful for families, warm houses, food in their bellies! some reflected their gratitude towards the savior and his ultimate sacrifice.

recent events in my life, and also events in my friends life lead me to my decision of what i am thankful for most...as of right now. and i'm going against the grain here.

i'm thankful for hardships

because without messing up in life, and causing pain or discomfort to myself...I wouldn't be able to recognize success, joy, and laughter! i take 2 steps forward, and slide 1 step back alot of the time, but i gotta remember i took one more step forward than i did back. without the trials in my life, i would not become the person heavenly father has planned for me.

which i guess is number 2 for what i am thankful for. with all my flaws and mess ups, there has to be a way to get up. I'm so thankful for my my brother jesus christ. we have some great teamwork. when i get pushed down, or i cause my own fall i know he is right there waiting for me to reach my hand up to take his hand so he can pull me back up. he knows my pain, and he knows my joys. he knows my weaknesses, and he knows my strengths. every day i thank heavenly father for giving up his son for us, so that we can fail, repent, and continue to press forward and create a life that heavenly father has planned for us.

i'm thankful

be the difference

I was listening to my music trying to hear something that would move me into writing something on here because I've started to loose some faith in the words that I've written.

I came across the song "with my own two hands" by Jack Johnson and Ben Harper. I'm not going to say much about it because the lyrics speak for themselves.

Yes, we make mistakes.

No, we do not have to let our mistakes define us.

I am who I am, and I can either run from it, or embrace it. Heavenly father has a plan for all his children. We can help each other succeed in life with our hands. There is always someone out there who know's our pains. We can help each other get through them with direction from heavenly father. When we do that, we can make this world a better place

I don't doubt what I write. create yourself how you want to be, then help others see what they can be.

change

starting new can be a difficult task. especially if you're as stuborn as I am. mistakes and regrets still haunt me. change can be a nightmare.

Where do the words hide?
You know, The ones that we can never are able to find in a moment of vulnerability?
When is the right moment to scream out “hey, I'm hurting!” or “my heart is broken!”?
Why is the natural answer to the question, “what can I do to help?” always, “nothing”? Because it's never nothing, there is always something.
We all have moments of weakness, how do we let people know that we need help?
Do we just watch each other fall? Or is there some way to know who needs help?

I have found myself in this situation on numerous occasions. Whether it be me wondering should I lend my hand...or, won't you help me up?

Sometimes, we don't expect things to happen like they do. And sometimes, we are expecting the unexpected, and are ready. Too many times I've been expecting the unexpected, and it still comes unexpectedly.

The only thing in life that doesn't change, is that life changes. Change is the only consistent thing in life. It is the one thing that will always be there, and will never be removed of. There are those who don't take change well at all.

I know all to well.

To not be able to let events go that are in the past, good or bad...

The moments which are stunned in our memories while time continues to surpass us.

Living in the “what was” and not the “what is” or the now, can destroy people. It destroyed someone that I knew very well.

Change means well, but it sure does traumatize the weak in spirit.

Change happens to those who try to rage war against someone or something, to try to settle the disagreement of power, or other circumstance. We always hope for the better change, but it doesn't always come out that way.

And when it doesn't, we are left standing at a crossroad.

Should we use this change to our advantage, and find the meaning behind it?

Or sulk down into the darkness of our failure.

I have been the one to yield to the fever of war against myself, my friends, my family.

Not meaning to cause contention, but to resolve the other circumstances.

how ever, every time the signal of war has been given, I have no control of the contention brought up, tears shed, trusts broken, and lives ruined.

Can it be healthy to remember the “what was” in our lives?

If there ever is a time in life to look back on a first kiss story, or getting your first pair of real Nike basketball shoes...it would be in dark suppressing moments of life. When you need a glimpse of light to wash out the dye of depression and grief.

What is the “dye” of depression and grief?

Being caught in a lie?

Losing a loved one?

Choosing the easy way out?

Addiction?

Ignorance?

Being neglected?

Is it knowing that you have chosen to sulk in your failures instead of rising up to defeat your opponent, who or what ever it maybe...?

I guess the actual “dye”, are the consequences of our bad choices, or the affects of others and their bad choices. The change of pace in life that does not settle with our stomach of emotion.
Now that I ponder on it more...Can it ever be healthy to reflect on the “what was” of our lives?
Or will it just leave us with the bitter taste of regret left in our mouths?
And then darken the dye of depression and grief.

This world we live in thrives on tragedy. It's all you hear on the news.

“another man stabbed and robbed today”

“suicidal teen shoots up local high school”

“old folks home caught on fire”

“gas prices continue to shoot up sky high”

“boy scout lost in the woods for 3 days”

“a jeep roll over in local high school takes one players life”

We get too caught up in the tragedy, that we forget to enjoy reality. To look out into this wide and spacious world, and remind ourselves; there will never be another one of us as individuals. We all play a major roll in life, and bring new cards to the game table. After we're gone, our individual is gone. And there will never be another one...of us.

Voltaire once stated, “Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.”
“to be or not to be...that is the question, why?” well, when you are given charitable attributes, don't you have to decide if and how you will use them?

All of us have something to share or give to each other.

It's interesting...pondering on the matter...

when have you been in a strangers life without knowing it? How many times have you been in the moment of someones greatest victory?

How many times have you been in their tragedies?

Someone always needs saving in their moment of tragedy. Who will save them?

I realize how random and scrambled this might sound, but isn't that how life is? We get caught up in the moments that we live, and they get so swirled around with our emotions. One second you'll be in the moment where everything is right in the world – You are happy. The next, you're in spiral down fall – miserable.

Rhyme or Reason

Such a good day!...well better anyways. Today I went to work, came home from work...and did nothing. And you know?...It's okay.

Last night I talked to a really good friend for an hour. I was soo overwhelmed with the idea that I had no plan of action with my life. And you know?...that's okay sometimes. It's okay not to know. I have an idea of a plan...and I would love to pursue it.
I want to coach lacrosse, and I want to  work and live up at Redfish Lake in central Idaho.
Both are very plausible. I am very anxious to know if I am able to do so, because I already know I am capable, and highly knowledgeable in both areas. Lacrosse. and Redfish.

I know my faith is being tested right now. and i recognize Satan is beating at my door harder than ever. I know i have a very important role in this life. I am ready to change. I want to succeed. I know I can do anything that is pleasing to God. I can have the spirit as a constant companion in this life if i have faith and a prayerful relationship with heavenly father.

I am so blessed to have pain and hardship...that i may have the opportunity to learn and grow from mistakes...also that i have the opportunity to actively use the atonement of my savior Jesus Christ.

Everyone has rhyme or reason.
people come into our lives for a purpose.
they never come early and they never come late.

I am grateful for ALL my life's adventures, and I am still young!! I am excited to know what's in store for me next!

reaction to action

It's true...things happen to us that we can control! Maybe a bad day at work. Maybe getting blown off. Possibly getting forced into an argument that you really don't care about. Losing a loved one, or torn relationships. Tragedy surrounds us, and sometimes it is out of our control. Our Reaction to these actions however, is in our control.

So, You had a bad day at the office did ya. Just remember the only thing that matters is your efforts. give all you can and work efficiently. still have problems? well its not your fault, so you shouldn't have to worry about. our reaction to unfortunate events is what people see as our character. good reactions = good character. bad reactions = bad character. at least in the work field. soo just smile and wave, and put a good show on if you're having a bad day.

Have you ever been blown off on any occasion? I have! It kinda sucks. ALOT. But!...as much as it might suck to be stuck in that sort of situation, think of your reaction, before you take action. alot of the time we just want to tear into the one who blew us off because they really hurt us...but you have to the ask the question "why?" why did they do that? always consider things from every angle! you don't know what kinda of day they were having..or what they might have gotten roped into at the last second. maybe some tragedy struck them ey?. the best thing to do is find out whats up and then react accordingly. it'll show that you are one heck of a friend. and if they don't see that...that's when you can rip into them. even though you should love everyone and forgive and forget...

Losing a loved one...every one's gotta die at some point, and eventually it will hit home. Every one's grieving processes is different. I know from experience that the best way to get through the grieving process is to be there for your other loved ones. and do not isolate yourself. isolation never solves anything. unless you're a crazy person...then yeah, it would a bit.

LOVE SUCKS. unless you're are happily married than congrats you've found true-love. unfortunately there is breaks up and divorce...and its not gonna go away. Just recently I went through a pretty big split. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. There was lots of history. We both knew it was time to end it. neither of us were happy and we couldn't continue like that. he was soo kind about the break up. and then he went on facebook and commented about how he was soo stoked to be single. and he forgot how much he loved being single. what is up with that? his reaction was kinda crappy. and it tore me apart. but then i have to think...what is this kid going through, that he wants to inflict this kind of emotional pain on me? we have been together for soo long and he said he didn't regret any of it and that it would take FOREVER for him to get over me...really buddy? sounded like you got over me pretty quick. My sister made a good comment to me the other night. "he probably is hurting right now, and he still cares about your feelings and he wants you to hurt like he is...he is probably just wanting a reaction from you."...
Long story short. take the high road in the relationship. because the higher you are, the better your partner will be, because you are looking now for something higher, bigger, and better

Quentin L Cook spoke in general conference on this very topic. Tragedy. to summarize that all up...
while we don't know why, we do know there is a plan.

...It is difficult just looking through the lens of mortal life. If we are insightful, and faithful we will receive great blessings. Many of us will go through sever trials.

1. heavenly father loves us
2. the atonement makes everything right
3. there is eternal life, and there will be reunions with those we have lost, and have gone on before us

fall cabin trip 2011

Oct 20th

What an Adventure, we finally made it to the cabin. It took a couple hours longer but we finally made it. I'm so glad I am up here. the mountains, the air...sigh its so clean and crisp. LOVE IT. even though this is a work trip, I think it's the best vacation ever.

Oct. 21st

I'm going to be sore in the morning! today we did lots of work! well we did 1 very hard job. FIREWOOD. we needed to restalk our piles of logs. so we went up 4th of july creek to find fallen timber. it was my brother Dan, my dad, and I. we found some good timber so we cut up a few hugh pines in 6 ft logs, then loaded them up. and boy were they heavy! I say about 125 lbs each if not more. it took all my strength to load those beast up. we ended up making 2 trips, with 2 big loads of logs. Tomorrow we're boing to finish up the pathe from the front of the cabin to the side. I pray that I might I have strenghth for tomorrow...because I will be hurting.

I haven't gone out to meditate yet this trip. I would really like the opportunity to get away by myself for a moment while we are up here. Gods beauty sorruonds me. I would love the opportunity to draw near to him. I wish I knew my purpose here. and I why my thoughts always go to my brother Phillip who has past away and who I have never met. I'm not crazy to want to know him and constantly think about him...am I?

I have so many unanswered questions about myself. I guess thats why I am getting a patriarchal blessing in a week. I should go to bed....I gots work to do in the mornin'!

Oct 22nd

...In less than 24 hours I'll be back home. This trip as gone by so fast! probably because we worked so hard. I had the opportunity to have a couple moments alone. nothing too great. but I did spend time with my brother and nephew. Family 1st right? they are the most important thing life.

There are things I struggle with, some days are harder than others. I have truely been trying. I pray heavenly father knows. there is improvement that needs to be done however...I know he loves me with a perfect love. I matter to him.

We are never done bettering ourselves. I love the cabin and the stillness. It reminds me that we are everything in the eyes of god. Dieter F Uchtdorf spoke on that in general conference, the title of his talk is "You matter to him". In the talk he reminded us that "the man", is nothing. what is man? we are the reason god created the universes. We are everything to God. we have a spark of eternal power. Life is only a small moment. there will always be conflict. Satan appeals to the pride of men. He also works through discouragement. Never get discouraged on your progress! What matters to God is that  we are doing the best we can. Spend your life doing good. You matter to him.

believe in him. do whats right.



away from the "world's world"

I know a place where I can go, and I'll find love and peace.

 and I know I am safe from the world

Where family and friends surround me.

And there is no question what is important in life.

The family cabin

The home away from home

Surrounded by Heavenly fathers masterpieces,

I know that I am loved by him.

by the cabins are amazing lakes where you can

clear your mind, and feel at peace.

the weight of the world is getting heavier and heavier...

that's why we need an outlet.

small and simple things, makes for a great life

I love the cabins, the mountains, the lakes, and of course the family. It's refreshing to get out of the world's world, and step into heavenly fathers world every once and awhile.

Service

I just read the talk given by Jose L Alsonso during General Conference. Boy it was a good one, it got me thinking about how I am doing helping me fellow men. I just wanted to summarize his talk, because it was just sooo good!

Happiness is found through following Christ. Jesus is the ultimate example of service. We all have opportunities to serve. Many ask, what can we do to help? when is the right time? Jose L Alsonso simple stated, SIMPLY ACT. people don't care what we do, all they need is our determination. To know what to do and who to serve, pray to heavenly father for preparation. The Saviors love is for all! But he never forgets the "one". The Lord expects our devotion.

I really needed that talk at that moment. I've been getting too caught up in myself, and things for me that my attitude as been really crappy. I know that when we are serving, we are the happiest. I'm going to make it my goal to think less of me this week and more on others.

"Do the Right thing, At the right time, without delay!"

song of the heart

You know how there's always a song that hits home? A song that really gets down in your soul? I got mine.

my simple prayer

Tonight I kneel beside my bed
Asking for thy loving care
For thy arms to be around me
As I stuggle through my prayers.

A young woman striving for excellence
But not seeming to get very far
Is sitting here alone tonight
Just trying to figure out her heart.

Heavenly father, where am I going?
And where will I end up?
I need thee more than ever
To carry me in thy arms of love.

At times all I see is darkness
Those times I am not sure where to turn
I end up down here on my knees
And once again I feel that return.

And when that light fades a little
I'll come to you once more.
And know with a second thought
That you'll always be the cure.

Attitude

...I really wanted to blog about today, but when I start typing...words are few and far. I've probably have used the back space button more times on this post then anything I have ever written.

I know that people can change...I know, because I changed. All it is, is attitude.

Stop saying the "I can't" phrase, because that is a lie.
Stop saying, "It's too late", because that is a lie
Stop saying, "why? I'm already bound for hell", because that is a lie.
Stop saying, "how can someone who has done so much wrong change". because THAT is a lie
Just stop.
All it is, is your attitude.

I had that attitude for a really really long time. I lost a lot of things because of it. I was losing more than I was gaining. I got to a point where there was nothing else to lose so I decided to change my attitude and gain a little bit.
...That little bit started with a simple prayer. which in return I got a settled mind.
...That settled mind became organized, which helped me throw out the bad in my life.
...Throwing out the bad in my life, led me to the fact that I could be happy with out all the mess, which gave me simplicity.
...That simplicity gave me the courage to act.
...That courage to act, lead me to more prayers, and repentance
...That repentance, lead me to the fact that God loves all men, and gave me the testimony of Jesus Christ, and the power of the atonement.
...That testimony of Christ lead me to have a desire to do all I could to be worthy to live with him again.
...And that desire to want to live worthly with god again...helped me become worthy to get a temple recommend for baptisms for the dead.
...Which is what I did today with one of my best friends who has been there for the troubled me, and the me I am today, She has definately been one of the biggest influences on my attitude. Never in my entire life has my soul felt so at peace, and accomplished.
...and to think now, I wonder what took me so long to have a change of heart.
All it was, was attitude.

How's your attitude?

be proactive

What a difference being active in all things makes. If you have a problem with depression, self pity, or just laziness. Being proactive, even though it may be hard....it will help. I promise. There are 3 things that I want to specify on because I've tried them out and I know it works.

1. find a hobby, and stick with it.

I've played lacrosse for 5 years now, and it has been such a blessing in my life. I am confident in myself when I am out on the lacrosse field , and I am hold my lacrosse stick. Just this past week I built myself a lacrosse goal for my back yard (showing up above). This way anytime I feel any negative feelings, I can go out side and just shoot those thoughts away.

2. living clean

I have found that when my room is clean, my mind is clear. When my room is a mess, my mind is a mess. A restless mind can be exhausting! and it really isn't worth it. I feel more accomplished when my room is like it its here up above, than it is a mess, and looks like there has been a hurricane in my room!

3. scripture study

It's no lie. The lord loves his children.

He has given us the scriptures to learn of him, to abide in him, and to understand how to return back to him. Christ is the ultimate big brother. He know's us better than we know ourselves. Besides prayer, the scriptures are away to know what the lord wants from us during this life. He gives us words of comfort in the scriptures. I get the most comfort and peace when I read my scriputres. The scriptures also help me continue to have the desire to stay proactive that I may have a happy, healthy life.

funny pictures

"holy crap!! what is it?!"





tribute to my best friend

late nights, sleep overs, all nighers

stick it, she's the man, pride and prejuduce

subway, joe's, and micki-dee's

We've laughed, we've cried, and lived together.

We've fought, we've played, we've sang together.

kindergarten through highschool

you've been the mac to my cheese

i'll never forget playing pretend in the back yard.

or going to rodeos, rocket launches, or horse back riding

we have just begun to uncover the depths of our friendship

but we have already discovered it can go through much hardship

everyone has a "go to man"...a best friend.

but not everyone has you man!!

Old habits die hard

Studies show that it takes 20 days or so to create a new habit.

I've been trying new things lately. alot of things which are out of my comfort zone. I would really love for some of my new interests to become habits, namely...

1. waking up every morning by at least 8 (this will be hard to do seeing that I enjoy staying up late and sleeping in)
2. making my bed...guilty :)
3. excersicing in the morning rather than late at night like i normally do. Excersicing before anything else is a healthy way to start of the day. Because you're mind is energized, and it helps you make other healthy choices the rest of the day.

I could go on and on and on about new habits I want to start. however, I want to start off with just a few because if i try to change everything at once, nothing will change.

I've been thinking alot about how old habits die hard, and over coming temptation to go back is its own matter in itself...before I went out and ran Red Rock I was becoming very discouraged about my lifestyle, and self image, mainly because I have little habits in my day to day basics that put me down. I was getting so frustrated that i lost motivation...and then i was getting after people with no cause. i kept thinking of all the things i needed to change in my life, i got so overwhelmed i'd just do nothing about it, because i did not know where to start.

I have a friend out on his misson for the church right now in florida, who wrote me a letter recently. It's interesting how god works through others, with out them realizing...i had just gotten home from southern utah, when i got his letter. I've been praying for quite sometime about my frustrations about myself, and my silly habits, hoping that heavenly father would be so kind to give me guidence on how to take action.

The letter my friend wrote me was just like any other letter he usually writes me. one page. "hey how are ya's". explaning to me that he is going to kick my butt in lacrosse when he gets home. and then, out of the blue, he ended is letter...
Just remember small and simple things

All I could do was stare at the words which he poorfully chicken scratched on to the paper. Heavenly father answered my prayer, through my good friend on a mission. I knew what I had to do. start small, and do simple things. and eventually...i'll be where i want to be. I know everyone can be where they want to be if they just do small and simple things too.

RED ROCK AFTER MATH

This past weekend I ran in the Zion Red Rock Relay. I've already described this relay in the previous blog soo I'll just go with the flow here. Let me say this. MUST RUN IT AGAIN! I had the best team I could ever ask to run with. 187 miles gets you very friendly, and 2 hours of sleep in a 36 hour time frame can make you very crazy!

The beginning:  The start was at Brian Head Ski Resort. Our time to begin our 187 mile adventure was at 8:25 am. There were some crazy people there. Even a guy with a chicken suit on! Oh, and a guy with only very very short orange shorts on. eh....gross.

The in-between: The first legs my van and I ran we had some HORRIBLE weather. My team mate who passed off to me ran in rain, hail, and lightening. We literally watched lightening hit a tree 75 yards away from our van, and saw that top explode! tree chucks flew all over the road! Our runner outside was only another 25 yards, and she seriously began crying out her pleads to god! I would too!! I got the slap bracelet (aka baton) from my team mate, and began my run in ice cold wind which gave me a cold.

                   (This is me running into the exchange)

   THE FINISH

After all the sweat, lack of sleep, food, and tears...The team and I finally made it to Zion's National Park. from Ice cold weather at the start...to running in 90+ Degree weather, We did it!! we ran the Red Rock!

I knew I was going to feel great after running this relay. But I didn't imaging it to be this good! I plan on running the Red Rock again next year, and some other races in between. God gave us beautiful surroundings. I was blessed enough to run through some of his master pieces. I did it!! Plus I got a spiffy medal and a SNOWCONE at the end!! mmm that was the best snow cone ever.

                                         

"It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves" Edmund Hillary

Take the bull by the horns, and don't let go.

Some moments don't come around a second or third time around. They come, They offer, and then they leave. Will you grasp the moment at hand, or just watch it ride into the town of "what could have beens"?

I've decided to turn over a whole new leave this season. I've let too many moments come, and offer, then leave. Now, my plan is to see less moments in that town, "what could have beens", and alot more in "what have beens".

My friend posted and urgent message on facebook. Pleading for runners! I thought, "well hey...I run...kinda". I decided to get more into. Turns out I got ALOT more into it.

Red Rock Relay.

A course in Southern Utah that stretches acrossed 185 miles of land! Talk about a Bad Booty Run. There are 12 members on a team, each member runs three legs....not too bad right? (we'll see, I haven't ran it yet).

Did I mention we'll be in Southern Utah? aka desert? It's not called Red Rock Relay for nothin'. Boiling Red Rock under your feet, blazing UV rays from the sun above! Running 185 miles as a team over a course of 2 Days! This looked so intense I just couldn't say no. This, is the start to my new beginning.

Baptism by Fire. It'll be hot. It'll be painful. But when my team and I get to that finish line, I know that I will become victorious. There will be no thought of what could have beens then.

Disappointed Faces

Has anyone really gone through life without falling back on any plan b's, c's, d's or f's? I don't think so. there will always be something that pulls us away from our life's dream plan.
You may not be living the dream you thought you were meant for. But through failure and disappointment opens new passage ways to find hidden talents, passions, and a paved road to a new beginning. Which as Henry Ward Beecher said, "Ones best success come after their greatest disappointment".
It may be hard to face the facts that you lost chances, but you've gained new opportunity.
don't be scared of new opportunity. don't fret over new possible disappointments. they are bound to happen. Robert Kiyosaki said, "The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way." you might be disappointed if you fail. but you are seriously doomed if you don't go out and try.

picture perfect

What is better than being able to play lacrosse?

...Being able to share it 

Create Yourself

I have been catching myself thinking about the people in my life a lot today. I Am at the age where everyone goes off their own ways in the world, whether it be college on the opposite side of town or nannying on the other side of the country. Life is all about closing and opening new doors and chapters. For me, its always been a struggle finding myself, and wondering what I am meant to do. I have wasted alot of opportunities waiting to find my way in this world. Life isn't about finding yourself, It's about creating yourself.
I apologize if this blog is random. But life is random. all my friends are leaving or are already gone. I'm going to miss you. here's a poem to my buddies far and abroad. I love you guys. and remember not to wait to find yourself, but take action and create yourself.

IF YOU TAKE SOME TIME EVERYDAY

If you take some time everyday,
To think about the past,
Notice how your mind sways away,
To what you wish hadn't passed.

If you take some time everyday,
To wonder about what's coming,
Your future will always stray
From what you are becoming.

If you take some time everyday,
To regret all of your mistakes,
Then your past will go away,
And upcoming will be new aches.

If you take some time everyday,
To wish you had some more,
Then after, to your dismay,
You'll lose that open door.

If you take some time everyday,
To insult the ones who hurt you,
You'll never get a bouquet,
From those you know who loved you.

If you take some time everyday,
To read a simple poem like this,
And think, in a different way,
You'll see all that you have missed.

congrats to everyone and their upcoming endeavors. Don't look back, and don't regret. Keep your focus on the door ahead. though miles may lie between us we are never far apart. because friendship isn't measured by miles, it is measured by the heart. I love you guys. If I find out that any of my friends are living a life of regret. I'll kick your butt. only because I love you and want the most for you. :) Kia Kaha

pathetic pick up lines and my shut down answers

1. "Could I flirt with you?"...."No"
2. "Hey somebody farted! Let's get out of here"...."Yeah I farted, so you would leave."
3. "Excuse me, but what pick up lines work for you?"...."definately not that one"
4. "Hi, can I buy you a car?" ...."Sure! then I'll drive out of your sight"
5. "Do you have a boyfriend?...No?!.... would you like one?"...well when you want a MANfriend, come talk to me."...."Yes, I'll call you when I want a middle aged man, with a balding head, and a overly hairy chest. can you transplant some of that hair on to your head there bud?...nasty."
6. "Can I have directions, to you heart?"....yeah, straight down to the firey gates of hell, and take a left..i'll be holding on to the guard dogs that want to mawl your face off."
7. "Hi, are you legal?...no you're too hot to be legal"...."Here's my green card"
8. "I've gotta thirst baby, and you smell like my kinda Gatorade"..."Oh, I just drank the purple kind."
9. "Excuse me, you owe me a soda! because the moment I saw you I dropped mine."...."well, if you had bigger hands you wouldn't have a problem"
10. "Do you have a map? because I keep getting lost in your eyes" ...."yeah, here (pulling out an actual map) stare at that"

Church signs

Everytime I start to feel down in the dumps for what ever reason I look up funny stuff on the web. todays web search was, "church signs"!! seemed like a pretty good subject since today is sunday and i just went to church. here is 18 of my favorites. enjoy!

1. "No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace."
2. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
3. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
4. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
5. An ad for St.Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
6. When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
7. "Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!"
8. A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed."
9. "People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."
10. " God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."
11. " Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"
12. "When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright."
13. "Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."
14. "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."
15. "How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking?"
16. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives":
17. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
18. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

Christ Remained True

...In agony, he prayed ernestly
He fell and cried, "Father!"
Just a boy pleading with his dad
In the end the cup does not pass
and he yeilded to the will of the father.
OBEY
...In my difficult times
I try to do as Christ
He yeilded to the will of God
We should all be willful
We must bow our heads and say, "yes"
We must weep for our sins, and the sins of the world
GOD IS FORGIVING
...MERCY, is at the very heart of the atonement
There is help in my life, Christ knows
He has traveled my road
He as traveled all of our roads
To know how to sucker his people.

I love my heavenly father and my brother Jesus Christ! I love them because they know what I am feeling whether it be joy or sorrow. They know my "pet-peaves" and he understands my trials. I love them because THEY LOVE ME FOR ME! and that makes me so happy! and gives me desire to live life to the fullest. I love my Heavenly Father because he gave his son for me. With out the atonement, there would be no hope. I thank him every day for the blessing of the atonement. I know I would not be where I am today without it. To all who believe the atonement is real, but doesn't feel like its meant for you...It is meant for you. Let it be for you.

To Achieve Your Dreams, just Remember Your ABC's

Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits
Believe in yourself
Consider Things from every angle
Don't give up and don't give in
Enjoy Life today; yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come
Family and friends are hidden treasures; seek them and enjoy their riches
Give more than you planned to
Hang on to your dreams
Igmore those who try to discourage you
Just do it
Keep trying; no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier
Love yourself first and most
Make it happen
Never lie, cheat or steal; always strike a fair deal
Open your eyes and see things as they really are
Practice makes perfect
Quitters never win and winners never quit
Read, study and learn about everything important in your life
Stop procrastinating
Take control of your own destiny
Understand yourself in order to better understand others
Visualize it
Want it more than anything
Xcelerate your efforts
You are unique of all God's creation; nothing can replace YOU
Zero in on your target and go for it