Friday, September 30, 2011


...I really wanted to blog about today, but when I start typing...words are few and far. I've probably have used the back space button more times on this post then anything I have ever written.

I know that people can change...I know, because I changed. All it is, is attitude.

Stop saying the "I can't" phrase, because that is a lie.
Stop saying, "It's too late", because that is a lie
Stop saying, "why? I'm already bound for hell", because that is a lie.
Stop saying, "how can someone who has done so much wrong change". because THAT is a lie
Just stop.
All it is, is your attitude.

I had that attitude for a really really long time. I lost a lot of things because of it. I was losing more than I was gaining. I got to a point where there was nothing else to lose so I decided to change my attitude and gain a little bit.
...That little bit started with a simple prayer. which in return I got a settled mind.
...That settled mind became organized, which helped me throw out the bad in my life.
...Throwing out the bad in my life, led me to the fact that I could be happy with out all the mess, which gave me simplicity.
...That simplicity gave me the courage to act.
...That courage to act, lead me to more prayers, and repentance
...That repentance, lead me to the fact that God loves all men, and gave me the testimony of Jesus Christ, and the power of the atonement.
...That testimony of Christ lead me to have a desire to do all I could to be worthy to live with him again.
...And that desire to want to live worthly with god again...helped me become worthy to get a temple recommend for baptisms for the dead.
...Which is what I did today with one of my best friends who has been there for the troubled me, and the me I am today, She has definately been one of the biggest influences on my attitude. Never in my entire life has my soul felt so at peace, and accomplished.
...and to think now, I wonder what took me so long to have a change of heart.
All it was, was attitude.

How's your attitude?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

be proactive

What a difference being active in all things makes. If you have a problem with depression, self pity, or just laziness. Being proactive, even though it may be will help. I promise. There are 3 things that I want to specify on because I've tried them out and I know it works.

1. find a hobby, and stick with it.
I've played lacrosse for 5 years now, and it has been such a blessing in my life. I am confident in myself when I am out on the lacrosse field , and I am hold my lacrosse stick. Just this past week I built myself a lacrosse goal for my back yard (showing up above). This way anytime I feel any negative feelings, I can go out side and just shoot those thoughts away.

2. living clean
I have found that when my room is clean, my mind is clear. When my room is a mess, my mind is a mess. A restless mind can be exhausting! and it really isn't worth it. I feel more accomplished when my room is like it its here up above, than it is a mess, and looks like there has been a hurricane in my room!

3. scripture study
It's no lie. The lord loves his children.
He has given us the scriptures to learn of him, to abide in him, and to understand how to return back to him. Christ is the ultimate big brother. He know's us better than we know ourselves. Besides prayer, the scriptures are away to know what the lord wants from us during this life. He gives us words of comfort in the scriptures. I get the most comfort and peace when I read my scriputres. The scriptures also help me continue to have the desire to stay proactive that I may have a happy, healthy life.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

tribute to my best friend

late nights, sleep overs, all nighers

stick it, she's the man, pride and prejuduce

subway, joe's, and micki-dee's

We've laughed, we've cried, and lived together.

We've fought, we've played, we've sang together.

kindergarten through highschool

you've been the mac to my cheese

i'll never forget playing pretend in the back yard.

or going to rodeos, rocket launches, or horse back riding

we have just begun to uncover the depths of our friendship

but we have already discovered it can go through much hardship

everyone has a "go to man"...a best friend.

but not everyone has you man!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Old habits die hard

Studies show that it takes 20 days or so to create a new habit.

I've been trying new things lately. alot of things which are out of my comfort zone. I would really love for some of my new interests to become habits, namely...

1. waking up every morning by at least 8 (this will be hard to do seeing that I enjoy staying up late and sleeping in)
2. making my bed...guilty :)
3. excersicing in the morning rather than late at night like i normally do. Excersicing before anything else is a healthy way to start of the day. Because you're mind is energized, and it helps you make other healthy choices the rest of the day.

I could go on and on and on about new habits I want to start. however, I want to start off with just a few because if i try to change everything at once, nothing will change.

I've been thinking alot about how old habits die hard, and over coming temptation to go back is its own matter in itself...before I went out and ran Red Rock I was becoming very discouraged about my lifestyle, and self image, mainly because I have little habits in my day to day basics that put me down. I was getting so frustrated that i lost motivation...and then i was getting after people with no cause. i kept thinking of all the things i needed to change in my life, i got so overwhelmed i'd just do nothing about it, because i did not know where to start.

I have a friend out on his misson for the church right now in florida, who wrote me a letter recently. It's interesting how god works through others, with out them realizing...i had just gotten home from southern utah, when i got his letter. I've been praying for quite sometime about my frustrations about myself, and my silly habits, hoping that heavenly father would be so kind to give me guidence on how to take action.

The letter my friend wrote me was just like any other letter he usually writes me. one page. "hey how are ya's". explaning to me that he is going to kick my butt in lacrosse when he gets home. and then, out of the blue, he ended is letter...
Just remember small and simple things

All I could do was stare at the words which he poorfully chicken scratched on to the paper. Heavenly father answered my prayer, through my good friend on a mission. I knew what I had to do. start small, and do simple things. and eventually...i'll be where i want to be. I know everyone can be where they want to be if they just do small and simple things too.

Monday, September 12, 2011


This past weekend I ran in the Zion Red Rock Relay. I've already described this relay in the previous blog soo I'll just go with the flow here. Let me say this. MUST RUN IT AGAIN! I had the best team I could ever ask to run with. 187 miles gets you very friendly, and 2 hours of sleep in a 36 hour time frame can make you very crazy!

The beginning:  The start was at Brian Head Ski Resort. Our time to begin our 187 mile adventure was at 8:25 am. There were some crazy people there. Even a guy with a chicken suit on! Oh, and a guy with only very very short orange shorts on. eh....gross.

The in-between: The first legs my van and I ran we had some HORRIBLE weather. My team mate who passed off to me ran in rain, hail, and lightening. We literally watched lightening hit a tree 75 yards away from our van, and saw that top explode! tree chucks flew all over the road! Our runner outside was only another 25 yards, and she seriously began crying out her pleads to god! I would too!! I got the slap bracelet (aka baton) from my team mate, and began my run in ice cold wind which gave me a cold.

                   (This is me running into the exchange)

After all the sweat, lack of sleep, food, and tears...The team and I finally made it to Zion's National Park. from Ice cold weather at the running in 90+ Degree weather, We did it!! we ran the Red Rock!

I knew I was going to feel great after running this relay. But I didn't imaging it to be this good! I plan on running the Red Rock again next year, and some other races in between. God gave us beautiful surroundings. I was blessed enough to run through some of his master pieces. I did it!! Plus I got a spiffy medal and a SNOWCONE at the end!! mmm that was the best snow cone ever.
"It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves" Edmund Hillary

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Take the bull by the horns, and don't let go.

Some moments don't come around a second or third time around. They come, They offer, and then they leave. Will you grasp the moment at hand, or just watch it ride into the town of "what could have beens"?

I've decided to turn over a whole new leave this season. I've let too many moments come, and offer, then leave. Now, my plan is to see less moments in that town, "what could have beens", and alot more in "what have beens".

My friend posted and urgent message on facebook. Pleading for runners! I thought, "well hey...I run...kinda". I decided to get more into. Turns out I got ALOT more into it.

Red Rock Relay.
A course in Southern Utah that stretches acrossed 185 miles of land! Talk about a Bad Booty Run. There are 12 members on a team, each member runs three legs....not too bad right? (we'll see, I haven't ran it yet).
Did I mention we'll be in Southern Utah? aka desert? It's not called Red Rock Relay for nothin'. Boiling Red Rock under your feet, blazing UV rays from the sun above! Running 185 miles as a team over a course of 2 Days! This looked so intense I just couldn't say no. This, is the start to my new beginning.

Baptism by Fire. It'll be hot. It'll be painful. But when my team and I get to that finish line, I know that I will become victorious. There will be no thought of what could have beens then.