God is constant

Time is always moving, it passes within seconds. A lot of moments seem to flee from us, when we are planning what is a head of us. Time is what we choose to make of it. Time is constant. Time is stable. Time is fleeting. Time is maturing.

In that, I say it's been too long since I've written anything on here. It has almost been 7 months! holy cow! A lot has happened in that time. I could I novel about the 7 months of my life, but for some that would be a bit boring and vague. so I won't. 

God is constant. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. God works in mysterious ways. I can't even comprehend how his mind works. He tries our faith continually. when we fail, he forgives us continually. when we are forgiven, he blesses us continually. It's a cycle that we go through over and over and over. Every time we go through the cycle, if we do so faithfully, and entrust the Lord with our out come, he teaches us something about life, and about his gospel. 

This summer was suppose to be life changing. And it was very life changing. But not how I pictured. What I thought was going to be a wonderful missionary summer, with many opportunities to share the gospel. to share with everyone i was working with this summer, that god loves all man kind, and does not reject anyone from his grace through His son's Atoning sacrifice. to share with them the plan of happiness. 

This summer became a time of trial. Tests of my faith, that I thought I failed...but I didn't. My understanding of the world and what's common in it, grew. I have experienced the world and its complexity, and found it cold and confusing.

The gospel in its fullest is simple and have found it warm, and enlightening. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is not just another religion, nor is it an American church. it is a restoration of the fullness of the gospel, the same as was revealed and taught from the beginning. We have one message: through a modern prophet, God has restored knowledge about the plan of salvation  which is centered on Christ's Atonement and fulfilled by living the first principles and ordinances of the gospel. which are, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion for the remission of sin, receiving the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end

I love this gospel and the joy and blessings that comes through following Jesus Christ. 

  

A little inpiration

Hey everyone, so i apologize i haven't been posting anything for, forever and a day now. it's been kinda boring. but I am inspired now so lets get to some blogging!

alrighty, a brief synopsis of what i've up to. making some sweeto new friends, work, and work, and that's about. boring right? who wants to write about that mumbo jumbo. I've been stuck in a rut and its been really depressing. my life started becoming routine, and gray. gay ey? i mean...dumb ey?

but then i met some super cool new friends, who help me find joy and happiness, and really just remind me why we're all here. a week ago my friends and i went up to the jordan river temple. one of my friends i went with that was her favorite temple and she wanted to go before leaving for school the next week. so we went.
it was so beautiful that day. everything was perfect. the warm weather, the blue sky and the white clouds, i literally could feel the suns rays. everything at the temple was glowing. what a blessing to have gone that day. while we where there we took pictures and walked around the temple. I took one of my friend while she was staring up at the temple. it was inspiring. and i hope if she reads this, she doesn't kill me for sharing this. but i wrote a poem along with the picture i wanted share with everyone.

Your House
by Michelle Jensen (me) :)

Let me draw near unto Your house, oh Lord

Allow me in those sacred doors;

The world is a dark and scary place

I pray, let me into Your embrace;

The trials of this life are overwhelming

At times I am not sure what I am doing;

Let me draw from Your spring of water

that I may never thirst, Your daughter;

There is a heaven on earth

I have been taught since birth;

a little girl, each day I'd say

I will go inside someday!

Its seems so close to me

where I stand, Your temple I see;

I plan to live worthily

for my eternal family.

There is a heaven on earth

I have been taught since birth;

your little girl, each day I say

I will go inside someday!

the abundant life

Hey ya'll, its been awhile. i'm gonna try to be better at this thing here called a blog.
the last month i have been doing alot of LDS Gospel reading, and i can honestly say its been one of the most challenging, but fortifying things i have done. my testimony is growing from what i read. not only what i read, but what i am applying to my own life. its so amazing to think that changing one tiny thing in your life, can put a hugh spin on the out come.

i don't really have much to write personally, but i have been reading the book, "press on" by elder b worthlin. and last night i read something that my soul has been searching for, for quite sometime. and i really want to share it, because it is soo good, and anyone can take head to this message.

"...I want to list a few of the characteristics of the happiest people i know have in common. they are qualities that can transform ordinary existence into a life of abundance.

"first they drink deeply from living waters

''the savior taught that, "whosoever drinketh of the water that i shall give him shall never thirst; [for it] shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life" (john 4:13, 14). fully understood and embraced, the gospel of jesus christ heals broken hearts, infuses meaning into lives, binds loved ones together with ties that transend mortality, and brings to life a sublime joy.
"president Lorenzo Snow said, "the lord has not given us the gospel that we may go around mourning all the days of our lives" (Teachings of Lorenzo snow, (61-62). The gospel of Jesus Christ is not a religion of mourning and gloom. the faith of our fathers is one of morning, hope, and joy. it is not a gospel of chains but wings...
"do you seek peace of mind?
"drink deeply of living water.
"do you seek forgiveness? peace? understanding? joy?
"drink deeply of living waters...
"the abundant life is a spiritual life...
"do you wish to partake of this living water and experience that divine well springing up within you to everlasting life? then be not afraid. believe with all your hearts. develop an unshakeable faith in the son of god, and let your hearts reach out in earnest prayer...lay your sins on the altar of sacrifice and forsake them. joyously walk in holiness and in harmony with the commandments.
"drink deeply lo the living waters of the gospel of jesus christ.

"second, they fill their hearts with love

"love is at the core of the gospel...we often never know the reach of a simple act of kindness...president gordon b hinckley has said that those who reach out to life and serve others "will come to know a happiness...never known before. heaven knows there are so very, very, very many people in this world who need help. oh, so very, very much. let's get the cankering, selfish attitude out of our lives, my brothers and sisters, and stand a little taller and reach a little higher in the service of others" (liverpool england fireside, 31 august 1995).

"third, they creat a masterpiece of their lives

"no matter our age, circumstances, or abilities, each of us can create something remarkable of our life. david saw himself as a shepherd, but the lord saw him as a king. joseph of egypt served as a slave, but the lord saw him as a seer. mormon wore the armor of a soldier, but the lord saw him as a prophet.
"we are sons and daughters of an immortal, loving, and all-powerful father in heaven...every one of us has potential we can scarcely imagine.
"the apostle paul wrote, "eye hath not see, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which god hath prepared for them that love him" (1 cor. 2:9). how is it possible, then, that so many see themselves merely as an old, gray gelding that isn't good for much more than scrap? there is a spark of greatness within everyone of us -- a gift from our loving and eternal heavenly father. what we do with that gift is up to us...
"the abundant life does not come to us packaged and ready-made. it's not something we can order and expect to find delivered with the afternoon mail. it does not come with out hardship or sorrow. it comes through faith, hope, charity, and perseverance. it comes to those who, inspite of hardship and sorrow, understand the words of one writer who said, "in the depth of winter, i finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" (albert camus, l'ete, 1954, 155-56)....
"who knows of what we are capable if we only try? the abundant life is within our reach if we will drink deeply of living water, fill our hearts with love, and create of our lives a materpiece."

the battle within

I've been really struggling putting anything out in words or on  paper lately. I guess you could say recent events in my life really haven't been all to splendid. The past month I've really been pondering and stressing about what I really want. and what my desires are.

In life there are High and low points. I've definitely have been stuck in a low point for awhile, and I've been wondering...do i want to get out of this cycle? or am i comfortable with myself and want to stay where i am now. well to be honest... i really wanted both. but i can't.

i have been battling myself. like literally have an internal war.

i know at the end of last Sunday (22nd) i could not make the decision on my own. i had to kneel and pray...which was part of my internal battle.

tormented was my soul and prideful was my heart to the point where i had to forced myself to read and article that had been referred to me. Ezra Taft Benson, "A mighty Change of Heart," Ensign, Oct. 1989". in there it states "...no one is more anxious to see us change our lives than the Father and the savior." then quotes the verse in Rev. 3:20, "I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come to him...note that he does not say, I stand at the door and wait for you to knock. He IS CALLING, BECKONING, AND ASK THAT WE SIMPLY OPEN OUR HEARTS AND LET HIM IN."

That hit me like a power round house kick to the face! (I felt the spirit press that to my heart)

I pondered on it, however the battle inside my was still full force. I decided to read some of the book "believing Christ" as i read i had to force my mind to focus on the words which my eyes were looking at...when i did, at that moment...i came across the same topic! ...the lord is knocking, he is waiting, and he wants us to open the door so he can heal us!"

by this time I was in tears. and so exhausted with the battle within that I was losing with myself. twice now the spirit has told me to open up to my savior. I finally decided to pray, but i was having a really hard time finding the floor with my knees.

So many thoughts flourished my mind. doubts more or less...
i could not replace my stubbornness with submission. Hate and anger and despair entangled my spirit and was suffocating it.

I have been taught that to be saved or be worthy of grace you must have a broken heart and a contrite spirit. but in that hour i had no broken heart or contrite spirit. just a stubborn and prideful heart. what do i pray for?...do i pray for grace when i don't have the intent to use it? no. pray the words i don't believe? no.
i cannot describe every feeling or thought...

but in the middle of all this doubt and fear i some how ended up on my knees struggling to start my prayer. after fighting myself and fighting my pity state i opened my mouth, and through my tears, spiritual struggle, and exhaustion, my prayer was simple...
"heavenly father, help me!...help me open up my heart to my savior!...that he can heal me...please help my stubborn soul become submissive. work with me and help build my faith in thy son..."

puffy eyes, and sore muscles were all that was left from the battle within.

I knelt at the edge of my bed, and the moment i said amen...my mind stopped reeling. my emotional pain ceased. and i felt the comfort of my savior as if he were literally hugging me. it felt so real. i felt love. and i felt peace.

though i continue to better myself, and work on my stubbornness. I know the lord is with me and loves me and is pleased that i continue to try and try again.
I know I'm struggling with my desires,  but i know if i continue to pray and build my faith, and serve others... my desire to do good and create and become the person i want to be, it'll happen.

through acts and prayer.

The Solution to Resolutions

today is the day before the day, before the new year... wait, what?
today is the day before new years eve!
what is the 1st thing that pops into my head when someone says new years? RESOLUTIONS!
New year resolutions are great things, they bring some new spunk to the up coming year right? they  rekindle the Hope to make a difference in your life. its possible!
i have my list of resolutions as most people do;

Train for a half marathon in idaho
read from the scriptures everyday
read a talk or message from a general authority every sunday
when i think negative about someone, think of two positive things about them (including myself)
spend more time at the gym (guilty)
cut back off the dr. pepper (this will be the hardest one of them all!)

If I can do everything on that list, my life will definatley take a turn for the better.

now, I'm not perfect. unfortunately. so I know that I won't always be running, reading, studying, thinking positive, working out, or drinking water instead of dr. pepper! kind of a bummer. what happens then?..i've messed up. i'm not going to ever achieve that goal. WRONG!

wise words from Michael Jordan, "If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."

the best thing about a new year, is that there are 365 new beginnings. yeah, you messed up on your resolution. so? strive for a better tomorrow! the solution to our failed resolutions is taking advantage of the small new beginnings everyday. recommit every night to what you know will create a life you long after. never get discouraged on your progress.

every night after my nightly routine, i just lay in my bed with the light on. i think on the day which has now past...what was good, and what was bad. Then I think about what I'll continue to do good, and what I can strive to do better. I turn off the light and say aloud,

"here's to a better tomorrow"

spreading holiday cheer

Christmas

it's a wonderful time of the year. full of giving, good tidings and cheer. it's a season of joy, peace, and love. it's a holiday to celebrate our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

I love Christmas! it's my favorite holiday. but for some reason...I hadn't been getting into the christmas spirit this year like i would have hoped. I had everything crossed off my list. greeting cards, check. presents, check. updated budget...eh, not quite. I was set for christmas. But it did not feel like christmas was a week away. what's up with that? I started wondering why christmas wasn't feeling all that great.

I had a relief society christmas lunch with my ward today. the bishops wife spoke, and asked us to remember a christmas that you remember, and what made it so great...
 Christmas 2005, my family and I traveled up to idaho to spend the holiday with my grandparents. I remember getting a koala bear beanie baby from my grandma Jensen. I loved that beanie baby. I remember this christmas and that beanie baby distinctly because it was the last christmas i ever had with my grandma. she past away two months later.
Christmas 2010, my family and I traveled up once again to idaho. this time however, we traveled up to our family cabin. we snow shoed into the cabins with all our gear. my dad had a christmas tree lit and it was nice to have family around. the best part about that chirstmas, was walking over to our cabin neighbor maraline who lives up there year round, with some treats and to sing some carols. that was the first time she has had carolers in decades.
the bishops wife made an excellent analogy. "its not the places or the gifts that makes the holiday special, but the people."

i remember christmas '05 because it was the last christmas i enjoyed with my grandma jensen.
christmas '10 was important to me because my family and i brought joy to our friend and neighbor who was alone on christmas.

what you do for others, and what you do with your loved ones make the holiday bright.

I am grateful for that lesson from the bishops wife. it really set the tone for me, and got me in the right mind set for christmas. I hope and pray everyone spreads holiday cheer, whether be by word or by action. no one should be left giftless this christmas season. its all about giving of ones self to make another's life seem a bit brighter. i am thankful for jesus christ, and this holiday to celebrate his birth. he is the ultimate symbol of hope. which everyone should feel a bit hopeful this time of year.

if you are having a hard time feeling the holiday cheer, try giving something away to someone. let me know if you feel the holiday cheer after you have spread it around a bit.

merry christmas everybody!

In Every step, In Every Change

Do not be discourgaged if life isn't all you want it to be right now. Don't fret if your plans A, and B have fallen through. don't feel alone, because no one has recognized you today.
have faith, god knows best for you. everything is in the lord's time. so don't be discouraged if life isn't all what it's cracked up to be right now. because heavenly father has great things waiting for you ahead. Don't fret if your plans A and B have failed. because heavenly father's plan C is much better than your plan A or B. And don't feel alone, because heavenly father never leaves your side.
the lord is with us in every step, and every change
I don't know anything that explains it better than the lyrics of the hymn, "be still my soul".

verse 1:
"Be still; my soul, the lord is on thy side
bear patiently the cross of grief and pain;
leave to your god to order and provide.
in every change god faithful will remain
be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
through throny ways lead to a joyful end."

heavenly father will help us through whatever comes our way. in every step, in every change, he'll never leave our side.