What makes me, Me?

Today as I was sitting in church, I began pondering the question. What makes me, me? what makes me "tick" the way I do, what causes me to bend over backwards all the time for everyone, and what makes me even ask this question of what makes me, me?

The answer? God.

God makes me, me. God is the reason I tick the way I do, He's the reason I love what  comes my way, and He is the reason I am who I am. God has a body, but his spirit is in me, he's you, and he's in everything around us. He's given me everything so when someone asks me for my help, I know I'm being asked to be the Lord's Hands in that hour. We all have that wonderful ability. To be The Lords hands. to serve others. to love others when no one else is there to love them, to lift them out of darkness, to mourn with them through their sorrows, and to joyfully celebrate with them through their achievements. 

When I was baptized, I took upon myself the name of Christ, to do as he would, to follow him. He is the ultimate example of love. the perfect love. charity. how do we show charity day to day? do we say we are followers or Christ? or do we show that we are followers of Christ? without faith, hope, and charity...there is nothing here for us. no clarity, happiness, or purpose. just confusion and misery. I'm thankful for God, he's creations and me. I'm thankful for his plan, I know Christ atoned for me and you and everyone, so that God's plan would work. without Christ and his atonement, this would all be void. and we would be stuck at death. But God's plan is more brilliant. we will live again, with our families, with our friends, and with our Father in Heaven if we are faithful and hopeful and charitable here. and accept his gospel, His RESTORED gospel. To have faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement, repent, be baptized by proper authority, to recieve the holy ghost by the laying on of hands, and endure to the end. and we are promised if we endure, we will have eternal life! is this not something worth living for? 

what makes me, me? what makes me "tick" the way I do? 

God, and his plan for me. 

This isn't a surprise to most people, and I have known this fact my whole life but never really said, "Hey look, I know this is a fact."...Well, I know for a fact when I'm not caught up in my own world, with my own problems, and my own success, time goes by quicker. and when I'm not caught up in my own world...my own world just happens to be created just to my liking. and when I'm helping someone else with their problems, I find solutions to my own. and when I see a way to help someone succeed, I succeed a little on my own.

Do unto others as you would have done unto you, they say. The first great commandment is to love the Lord thy God, and the second is like unto it... Love thy neighbor. Love thy Enemy, The Savior taught. Give him your coat.And when they smite your cheek, turn the other one.Honor thy father and thy mother.Keep the sabbath day holy. John 14:15 "If ye love me, keep my commandments"

There are many commandments that Heavenly Father has given us. through the scriptures, The Old Testament, The New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price we can learn what the Lord asks of us. We also have a Prophet on the Earth to day, who is the Mouth piece of the Lord. I know, there is a prophet on the earth today. His name is Thomas S Monson, and every 6 months, I sustain him as such. But how do I know? I know because I asked my Heavenly father in prayer, I studied the scriptures, and I read the book that is the keystone of my religion, The Book of Mormon. I prayed to know if it is true scripture, and guess what? IT IS! since that 531 paged book of scripture is true, then Heavenly Father did call Joseph Smith to be a prophet in 1820! and we have had a living prophet on the earth ever since. Think of it, a "Moses" to deliver us out of bondage. spiritual bondage, in all its severity of degrees. 

Hymn 21 Come, Listen to a Prophet's Voice, Verse 2:"The gloom of sullen darkness spreadThru earth's extended spaceIs banished by our living Head, And God has shown his face. Thru errring schemes in days now pastThe world has gone astray;Yet Saints of God have found at last The straight and narrow way."

The straight and narrow way, involves keeping the commandments of the Lord. and Keeping the commandments takes a lot of effort and even more sacrifice. 

Sacrifice: an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else  regarded as more important or worthy. what is it, that is more important that the Lord has to offer, then the materials of this world? Eternal Life, with our families, in the presence of Heavenly Father. Which is the greatest gift, he can give.  However, we must be pure and clean through obedience in order to do so. being disobedient moves us away from Him. There's a ton of commandments, and I will be the first to say I am not perfect! no one is! if we were we wouldn't be here on this earth. The Lord knew,  we would mess up.. he provided us, a way to be successful. Central to our Father's plan is Jesus Christ's atonement, which includes Christ's Suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane as well as His suffering and death on the cross. Through the Atonement we can be freed from the burden of our sins and develop faith and strength to face any trial that comes our way. And we can do that through practice. 

practice keeping the commandments. work a little each day. pray often, serve  often, and read the scriptures daily. listen and heed to the prophet's words. be doers of the work not hearers only. ask for forgiveness and also strength, that Christ can give you. I'm not a Christian because I have life all put together, and I'm successful. I'm Christian, because I am flawed, and weak and need a Savior. and through living the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I can be freed from spiritual bondage, and find success while helping others, and that brings true happiness. 

"Wonderful, I love you!"

Hey everyone! An owner of a cafe in Portland Oregon has inspired this post. The past four days I had a great opportunity to visit a good buddy of mine in Oregon. On Monday, we spend the morning/afternoon in Portland. It was non stop pouring rain out as we walked the streets.We decided to seek shelter and grab a bite to eat at a near by cafe. 

We walked in, and the owner of the establishment greeted us with a warm smile and sat us down. He took our drink orders, and before he walked away he said, "wonderful! I love you!" to my friend and I. It sort of caught me of guard, but i couldn't help to smile, i wasn't use people randomly saying they loved me. 

After giving us a moment to look over the menu, he came to take our order. after my friend ordered he said with joy, "wonderful, you're beautiful! I love you" he continued to me, I ordered, and again he said "wonderful, I love you! both of you, I love you!" I looked over at my friend who was smiling just as much as I was. The owner then continued to explain why he said I love you...

"You see, isn't it such a wonderful feeling to know someone loves you?? It makes you smile. There isn't anything better than to go to bed at night knowing someone loves you. Which I know both of you pretty ladies do...you're parents!"  

I couldn't help but giggle at the silly statement. But sitting there after he said that, I could help but sit and ponder on the statement. "...there isn't anything better than to go to bed at night knowing someone loves you." apart from my parents here on earth, I know that statement is true about my heavenly father. 

I know Heavenly Father loves everyone that was on the earth, is on the earth today, and those who have not yet come to earth. He is always here for us, no matter where we are, or what we do. If you struggle with this notion that there is a God, and that he knows you by name, and loves you with all is might (which is a lot) I challenge you to pray, and  ask him. He will testify to you with a burning in your heart, an undeniable warmth in your soul that He loves you.  

You see, isn't it such a wonderful feeling to know someone loves you?? It makes you smile. There isn't anything better than to go to bed at night knowing someone loves you. That Heavenly Father loves you :)

God is constant

Time is always moving, it passes within seconds. A lot of moments seem to flee from us, when we are planning what is a head of us. Time is what we choose to make of it. Time is constant. Time is stable. Time is fleeting. Time is maturing.

In that, I say it's been too long since I've written anything on here. It has almost been 7 months! holy cow! A lot has happened in that time. I could I novel about the 7 months of my life, but for some that would be a bit boring and vague. so I won't. 

God is constant. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. God works in mysterious ways. I can't even comprehend how his mind works. He tries our faith continually. when we fail, he forgives us continually. when we are forgiven, he blesses us continually. It's a cycle that we go through over and over and over. Every time we go through the cycle, if we do so faithfully, and entrust the Lord with our out come, he teaches us something about life, and about his gospel. 

This summer was suppose to be life changing. And it was very life changing. But not how I pictured. What I thought was going to be a wonderful missionary summer, with many opportunities to share the gospel. to share with everyone i was working with this summer, that god loves all man kind, and does not reject anyone from his grace through His son's Atoning sacrifice. to share with them the plan of happiness. 

This summer became a time of trial. Tests of my faith, that I thought I failed...but I didn't. My understanding of the world and what's common in it, grew. I have experienced the world and its complexity, and found it cold and confusing.

The gospel in its fullest is simple and have found it warm, and enlightening. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is not just another religion, nor is it an American church. it is a restoration of the fullness of the gospel, the same as was revealed and taught from the beginning. We have one message: through a modern prophet, God has restored knowledge about the plan of salvation  which is centered on Christ's Atonement and fulfilled by living the first principles and ordinances of the gospel. which are, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion for the remission of sin, receiving the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end

I love this gospel and the joy and blessings that comes through following Jesus Christ. 

  

A little inpiration

Hey everyone, so i apologize i haven't been posting anything for, forever and a day now. it's been kinda boring. but I am inspired now so lets get to some blogging!

alrighty, a brief synopsis of what i've up to. making some sweeto new friends, work, and work, and that's about. boring right? who wants to write about that mumbo jumbo. I've been stuck in a rut and its been really depressing. my life started becoming routine, and gray. gay ey? i mean...dumb ey?

but then i met some super cool new friends, who help me find joy and happiness, and really just remind me why we're all here. a week ago my friends and i went up to the jordan river temple. one of my friends i went with that was her favorite temple and she wanted to go before leaving for school the next week. so we went.
it was so beautiful that day. everything was perfect. the warm weather, the blue sky and the white clouds, i literally could feel the suns rays. everything at the temple was glowing. what a blessing to have gone that day. while we where there we took pictures and walked around the temple. I took one of my friend while she was staring up at the temple. it was inspiring. and i hope if she reads this, she doesn't kill me for sharing this. but i wrote a poem along with the picture i wanted share with everyone.

Your House
by Michelle Jensen (me) :)

Let me draw near unto Your house, oh Lord

Allow me in those sacred doors;

The world is a dark and scary place

I pray, let me into Your embrace;

The trials of this life are overwhelming

At times I am not sure what I am doing;

Let me draw from Your spring of water

that I may never thirst, Your daughter;

There is a heaven on earth

I have been taught since birth;

a little girl, each day I'd say

I will go inside someday!

Its seems so close to me

where I stand, Your temple I see;

I plan to live worthily

for my eternal family.

There is a heaven on earth

I have been taught since birth;

your little girl, each day I say

I will go inside someday!

the abundant life

Hey ya'll, its been awhile. i'm gonna try to be better at this thing here called a blog.
the last month i have been doing alot of LDS Gospel reading, and i can honestly say its been one of the most challenging, but fortifying things i have done. my testimony is growing from what i read. not only what i read, but what i am applying to my own life. its so amazing to think that changing one tiny thing in your life, can put a hugh spin on the out come.

i don't really have much to write personally, but i have been reading the book, "press on" by elder b worthlin. and last night i read something that my soul has been searching for, for quite sometime. and i really want to share it, because it is soo good, and anyone can take head to this message.

"...I want to list a few of the characteristics of the happiest people i know have in common. they are qualities that can transform ordinary existence into a life of abundance.

"first they drink deeply from living waters

''the savior taught that, "whosoever drinketh of the water that i shall give him shall never thirst; [for it] shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life" (john 4:13, 14). fully understood and embraced, the gospel of jesus christ heals broken hearts, infuses meaning into lives, binds loved ones together with ties that transend mortality, and brings to life a sublime joy.
"president Lorenzo Snow said, "the lord has not given us the gospel that we may go around mourning all the days of our lives" (Teachings of Lorenzo snow, (61-62). The gospel of Jesus Christ is not a religion of mourning and gloom. the faith of our fathers is one of morning, hope, and joy. it is not a gospel of chains but wings...
"do you seek peace of mind?
"drink deeply of living water.
"do you seek forgiveness? peace? understanding? joy?
"drink deeply of living waters...
"the abundant life is a spiritual life...
"do you wish to partake of this living water and experience that divine well springing up within you to everlasting life? then be not afraid. believe with all your hearts. develop an unshakeable faith in the son of god, and let your hearts reach out in earnest prayer...lay your sins on the altar of sacrifice and forsake them. joyously walk in holiness and in harmony with the commandments.
"drink deeply lo the living waters of the gospel of jesus christ.

"second, they fill their hearts with love

"love is at the core of the gospel...we often never know the reach of a simple act of kindness...president gordon b hinckley has said that those who reach out to life and serve others "will come to know a happiness...never known before. heaven knows there are so very, very, very many people in this world who need help. oh, so very, very much. let's get the cankering, selfish attitude out of our lives, my brothers and sisters, and stand a little taller and reach a little higher in the service of others" (liverpool england fireside, 31 august 1995).

"third, they creat a masterpiece of their lives

"no matter our age, circumstances, or abilities, each of us can create something remarkable of our life. david saw himself as a shepherd, but the lord saw him as a king. joseph of egypt served as a slave, but the lord saw him as a seer. mormon wore the armor of a soldier, but the lord saw him as a prophet.
"we are sons and daughters of an immortal, loving, and all-powerful father in heaven...every one of us has potential we can scarcely imagine.
"the apostle paul wrote, "eye hath not see, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which god hath prepared for them that love him" (1 cor. 2:9). how is it possible, then, that so many see themselves merely as an old, gray gelding that isn't good for much more than scrap? there is a spark of greatness within everyone of us -- a gift from our loving and eternal heavenly father. what we do with that gift is up to us...
"the abundant life does not come to us packaged and ready-made. it's not something we can order and expect to find delivered with the afternoon mail. it does not come with out hardship or sorrow. it comes through faith, hope, charity, and perseverance. it comes to those who, inspite of hardship and sorrow, understand the words of one writer who said, "in the depth of winter, i finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" (albert camus, l'ete, 1954, 155-56)....
"who knows of what we are capable if we only try? the abundant life is within our reach if we will drink deeply of living water, fill our hearts with love, and create of our lives a materpiece."

the battle within

I've been really struggling putting anything out in words or on  paper lately. I guess you could say recent events in my life really haven't been all to splendid. The past month I've really been pondering and stressing about what I really want. and what my desires are.

In life there are High and low points. I've definitely have been stuck in a low point for awhile, and I've been wondering...do i want to get out of this cycle? or am i comfortable with myself and want to stay where i am now. well to be honest... i really wanted both. but i can't.

i have been battling myself. like literally have an internal war.

i know at the end of last Sunday (22nd) i could not make the decision on my own. i had to kneel and pray...which was part of my internal battle.

tormented was my soul and prideful was my heart to the point where i had to forced myself to read and article that had been referred to me. Ezra Taft Benson, "A mighty Change of Heart," Ensign, Oct. 1989". in there it states "...no one is more anxious to see us change our lives than the Father and the savior." then quotes the verse in Rev. 3:20, "I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come to him...note that he does not say, I stand at the door and wait for you to knock. He IS CALLING, BECKONING, AND ASK THAT WE SIMPLY OPEN OUR HEARTS AND LET HIM IN."

That hit me like a power round house kick to the face! (I felt the spirit press that to my heart)

I pondered on it, however the battle inside my was still full force. I decided to read some of the book "believing Christ" as i read i had to force my mind to focus on the words which my eyes were looking at...when i did, at that moment...i came across the same topic! ...the lord is knocking, he is waiting, and he wants us to open the door so he can heal us!"

by this time I was in tears. and so exhausted with the battle within that I was losing with myself. twice now the spirit has told me to open up to my savior. I finally decided to pray, but i was having a really hard time finding the floor with my knees.

So many thoughts flourished my mind. doubts more or less...
i could not replace my stubbornness with submission. Hate and anger and despair entangled my spirit and was suffocating it.

I have been taught that to be saved or be worthy of grace you must have a broken heart and a contrite spirit. but in that hour i had no broken heart or contrite spirit. just a stubborn and prideful heart. what do i pray for?...do i pray for grace when i don't have the intent to use it? no. pray the words i don't believe? no.
i cannot describe every feeling or thought...

but in the middle of all this doubt and fear i some how ended up on my knees struggling to start my prayer. after fighting myself and fighting my pity state i opened my mouth, and through my tears, spiritual struggle, and exhaustion, my prayer was simple...
"heavenly father, help me!...help me open up my heart to my savior!...that he can heal me...please help my stubborn soul become submissive. work with me and help build my faith in thy son..."

puffy eyes, and sore muscles were all that was left from the battle within.

I knelt at the edge of my bed, and the moment i said amen...my mind stopped reeling. my emotional pain ceased. and i felt the comfort of my savior as if he were literally hugging me. it felt so real. i felt love. and i felt peace.

though i continue to better myself, and work on my stubbornness. I know the lord is with me and loves me and is pleased that i continue to try and try again.
I know I'm struggling with my desires,  but i know if i continue to pray and build my faith, and serve others... my desire to do good and create and become the person i want to be, it'll happen.

through acts and prayer.